Is it just me or did that title sound like a 'talk to frank' ad? Actually does anyone remember those ads? Or am I just getting old? I feel like my references are getting old sometimes, but yano, I guess that's what happens when your in your twenties. I can't believe I said that as if twenties are old. What is happening to the world?
Anyway, I wanted to talk about confidence today because it is a massive issue. Especially with me...
If you were to meet me, and I know a few of my readers do know me quite well, you might think that I am confident. I am social and I wouldn't class myself as shy, therefore I can speak to anyone. And I quite often do. I am chatty and not scared to introduce myself or share a story. I like to be around people and therefore I guess I probably come across quite confident.
However, I don't think confidence is something that is obvious all the time. I think that quite often the most outgoing and loud person in a group, may be the most insecure one. And although I wouldn't put myself in that category, I am not the loudest in a group, I do think my insecurities are there and they are real.
Now, in my opinion, this is a recent thing. I look back and I was always really confident. Ask me to stand in front of the class and dance, I was there five minutes ago. I didn't care as much. And this went right through into my teenage years. I mean I moved across the country at 14, in the bitchest age group of all time, and I survived unharmed. I settled in right away and I ended up having loads of friends. I wasn't bothered.
But then I turned into an adult, kind of. As I came to the end of my teenage years my confidence took a nose dive. I suddenly realised that I wasn't the best at everything, and I started to compare myself to everyone. I got comfortable in a relationship and my body did too, and then I went through a really hard time that made me realise who my real friends were. And put it this way, there weren't hundreds as my facebook would suggest.
The more insecurities that creep in the more they impact my life. I don't pick clothes like I used to because I am not sure how they will look on me, or if they will hide my extra wobbly bits. I don't say yes to as many invites because I am scared of meeting new people. I really don't like doing anything on my own, in fact the thought terrifies me.
I don't like it. I don't like that I am not the opportunist I once was. And I don't think I am being the best version of me I could be.
So, this year I want to try really hard to squash out these little niggly problems that have destroyed my confidence. I want to stop comparing myself to everyone else because, at the end of the day, I can only be myself. I am never going to look like that person, or have the figure of that person, because I am me and I can't turn into someone else.
On the other hand, they can't be me either. Everyone is different in looks and personality, and as long as you are trying to be the nicest and best version of you that you can possibly be then you have no reason to have no confidence.
I am not saying that I am going to be going out in tiny dresses or a bralet any time soon, but I am going to be more open to options. Does anyone actually care that you can see the tops of my arms, or that my thighs are a little bigger than the other girls? Is anyone going to care if I have a funny accent?
I am determined to try and get parts of my confidence back. And I am going to stop caring and comparing.