I was thinking about what posts I should plan for the next few weeks, and this week was the hardest to decide. I feel like I have nothing exciting or new to share with the world right now, but I'm going to ramble on anyway. However, the next few weeks are quite exciting. I am doing some things with work including a screening day at the Showroom in Sheffield, which I have never visited but have heard great things about and I am also going to France. But more on that later. Plus Chester and Tenerife.
I just read that last bit back to me and realised how good that all sounds and how I should be excited but I'm not. Hmm.
Anyway, the purpose of this post is something that's been on my mind for a while. How strange it is how your friends and friendship changes over the years. Someone once told me that you really start to see who your true friends are between the ages of 18 and 21. And I have found this to be so unbelievably true. But not because everyone suddenly turns into bitchy monsters at this age, but I think this is the time that people 'find' themselves and stop caring as much. Also, it's not as important to be friends with everyone. There's not the OMG-who-am-I-going-to-sit-with-tomorrow-at-school fear when you fall out with someone. Or the gut wrenching feeling that a rumour is going to go round about you by one of your so-called friends.
But I do think friends become so much more important in other ways. They become more than just people you enjoy a Maths class with, and like to have sleepovers with, and someone to share your clothes with. They become real. They become your support network.
The last few years have been insanely hard and it has become so apparent who my friends are. And who I can turn to when I need a full bottle of wine, and a good cry, and all the chocolate that One Stop sell. They just know when there's something up by a look, and they just get me.
Of course you have those friends who you can enjoy a night out with, or a pizza trip with but you couldn't spill your whole life too. You just enjoy their company. And these are important too as they provide some of the best memories. But I'm talking about the kind of friends you absolutely need in your life.
I do think as you get older it becomes apparent who you can spend time with happily, and who really is a friend and means a lot to you. Yes, this means I have fewer 'friends' than I did 3 years ago. (Although Facebook will say otherwise, HA). But it means I have more meaningful friendships, with people I choose to have in my life and who I value as human beings.
I feel like sometimes I am a push over when it comes to friends. I used to walk around in a daze, valuing a friendship with people more than they value their friendship with me. I would go out of my way to be caring and considerate to people that wouldn't do the same back. And when it came to me really, really needing support, they weren't there. And then I realised I really needed to think about who I respect as a friend, and cut some ties.
I do think a cull now and again is healthy. And it is good to reflect on your life and work out how you can improve it. It is so important to surround yourself with happy and supportive people.
I feel I have this now with some amazing and honest people, and hope that this lasts. We'll see.