This has been a hot topic in the blogging world lately, and these have been some of the articles I have enjoyed reading most. Because it’s real. I feel it at least once a week, and it hurts. It fills me will all kinds of envy and anger, which I know isn’t me and doesn’t fit my personality. I see my friends going out and having all the fun, all the time. And I just can’t keep up. I feel as though I am in a total different time in my life, I have all those pesky bills to pay. Because quite frankly, council tax doesn’t pay itself and I dread the consequences if I don’t pay it. Most of my wage goes straight back out on bills. Rent, water, TV licence, phone contract, all those fun little things that I use and have to pay for. So, I don’t have the same disposable income I see a lot of people my age having. I have to budget a night out to make sure it doesn’t affect the rest of my month too much. Therefore, a lot of the times I have to say no to some of the things they do resulting in this massive fear that I am missing out.
It’s not really a fear though. Its more a fact. I am missing out. I am missing out on those inside jokes, or funny memories that develop on nights out or other social meetings. And I worry that if I say no too much then people will just stop asking me to come. Which is fair enough, because I will become easily forgotten. And it’s through no fault of their own, and it won’t be done in a cruel way. It will just be.
I find it so easy to think ‘what if’. What if I still lived with a parent, and didn’t have to have all the responsibilities. What if I earnt more money. What if I set up an overdraft so I can participate in everything everyone else does.
But no. I know deep down going in to debt is definitely not the answer to resolving my FOMO. Neither is wishing I earnt more money, because I earn a good wage and am already working two jobs. I just can’t do anymore. And finally, I need to stop thinking about what my life would be like if I still lived with a parent because I have always stuck by the rule ‘there is always somebody worse off than you’.
So from now on, I am going to give myself a break. I am so lucky to live in such a beautiful house, with someone that wants to look after me and take all my worries away. And everyone else my age will have to start paying the bills I pay one day, and then the balance will be restored. So what I don’t have all the memories of all the nights out that they will, but I will have a good chunk of those memories. Plus, many more in my lovely little house. I am officially going to try and squish that niggly little FOMO I have, and replace it with reminders that I am actually doing okay.