(This is a 14 year old me, and my then best friend. Cool, huh?)
Firstly I want to say that everything will be okay. I promise. Also, life is shit. Properly shit. There is going to be periods that are harder than you can ever imagine, but stay stong kid, you can get through this.
One key thing I need to tell you, your friends now aren't going to be your friends forever. So don't get upset when you feel left out, and not an equal. They don't matter, and better people are round the corner. Just stick it out.
Also, you and me both know that your mum isn't getting any better. Cherish the time you have with her. Stop being a brat and making life harder, you're not doing yourself or her any favours. Also, those things you are doing that you think make you look 'cool', really don't. This isn't what all teenagers are doing. Stop pretending to be someone you're not, because you're already a pretty good version of you. Enjoy school, you don't know how much you will miss it.
You are about to do the scariest thing you have ever done. Move. But try not to cry too much as this will be the best thing you have ever done, and you will meet some incredible people in an incredible place. Although it feels like your world is falling apart around you, keep that little head up high and have fun. You're only 14, don't try and be 20!
When things do get insanely hard, don't try and take it all on the chin. Remember, there are people around you that will take some of that pain away from you. They are genuinely there for you. Use them. You are so strong already, but it is okay to cry sometimes. But having a tantrum won't help, you will only push people away and make them resent you.
You are going to experience so much in the next few years. So many highs to accompany the many lows. Embrace them. Make the most out of all the memories you are about to make. Don't concentrate on boys too much, concentrate on having fun. Good memories are so much better! And that kind, funny guy that gives you loads of attention is out there, you just got to wait it out.
I know you won't believe it, but you actually turn out okay. Miles away from the messed up, weak woman you now envisage. You become strong and all those annoying qualities you see in yourself now dissappear. So just do all the things you are already doing, and more. Be the happiest version of you that you can.
The most important thing I can tell you is to make the most of every person in your world. You don't know when they aren't going to be there anymore. So cherish them, love them. You're not in this world alone kid. Oh, and take lots of photos. You will want to look at those one day. Even if you do think you look 'fat' or 'ugly' now.
Finally, don't let anything brake you. Stay the positive little madam I know you are. Keep smiling but remember, everybody cries sometimes.
Love, older Harriet.
p.s please stop dying your hair black, it really doesn't suit you.